Passenger

Throughout my experience on the race, I have gotten the “what’s next” question anywhere from ministry hosts, friends I have met on the race, my team, and within myself. In India, I asked more seriously, “What’s next Lord? You have placed a pastoral passion on my heart. I want to tend to the church/care for the body. I want to preach, lead worship, and everything in between. I believe the desires on my heart are from You and I want to follow them fully.”

I began searching seminary schools back home, teetering between applying and merely looking. Eventually, I found myself operating out of old patterns, rather than trusting His plan, I was working out every detail before He could. While I believe the Lord requires action from us, we are called to respond to His voice. I essentially was drafting plans I found satisfactory and presenting them to Him for His approval. Rather, I believe He was asking me to await the plan He has already approved of and entrust myself to His divine appointment.

Of course, He used my eagerness, met my expectations, and redirected me toward His. After running into some theological concerns with one of my applications, I halted the process, apart from continued prayer. I asked the Lord to reveal the course in His timing. Before committing to the race I prayed “Lord, detour my plan for yours” repetitively. Reminding me of where I am now, the unexpected road He has me on, He continued to pour His truth upon me. “I will continue to lead, as you continue to follow. My footprints, your footsteps.”

While He has given me assurance that any yes I give He will use to glorify Himself in, my current walk is a testament of the brilliance in surrendering my plan for His. I wholeheartedly believe that He has much more beautiful paths for me to walk than I could dream up, whether that’s in Seattle or halfway across the world, it is not beautiful because of where I am but who I am with.

As I continue to discern what is to follow, I know He is not in the rush I am in. As soon as He gives the “go” He knows I will move. Still, I will continue to prayerfully consider the options I am aware of. As my hands remain open, only He knows when my ears are ready to hear.

This morning He gave me a revelation. All of this last year I haven’t been able to drive. I am a passenger in every vehicle, and while there are days I dream of a sunset drive with the windows down, and music a blast, there are moments I miss the control. But, I simply would have never known to drive down the dirt roads and highways I have been on, to park on these overlooks, and overlook His glory in the ways I have seen. All of my fellow racers can attest, on the race I have succumbed to fairly intense motion sickness, I still wouldn’t want to take Him out of the driver’s seat.